


Means-End Analysis

by KamalasFanfiction



Series: Safety and Home [1]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Arab Character, F/F, Falling In Love, Female Character of Color, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Interspecies Relationship(s), Non-Standard Female Ryder, Team as Family, sibling dynamics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 12:32:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11231043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KamalasFanfiction/pseuds/KamalasFanfiction
Summary: Perhaps that was why Ryder liked talking to her so much- you couldn’t get lower expectations at a discount. Give her a Pathfinder and she’d show you provisions- other than that? Vetra hadn’t had any illusions about the Pathfinder’s personality.-Vetra hadn't anticipated being anything more than an asset to the Tempest, but she's quickly realizing that Maryam Ryder isn't one to keep things impersonal. Even if that meant flying to a moon to check out her younger sister's conspiracy theory.





	Means-End Analysis

**Author's Note:**

> In means-ends analysis, the problem solver begins by envisioning the end, or ultimate goal, and then determines the best strategy for attaining the goal in his current situation.

Scoping out Voeld was no big deal in the greater scale of things, and the Nomad and Vetra’s armor were both heavily padded and insulated to keep all the warmth a turian could need, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t get a little antsy. Her biology wasn’t made to step out into anything resembling ice and falling from the sky, which resulted in a lot of aching plates and some _very_ uncomfortable scraping sounds as she tried to get all of the ice from between her mandibles. Peebee shot her looks every now and then, very obviously trying to keep from flinching at the sound and failing. “All clear?” Ryder’s voice rings out in her ear and, both of them sweeping the area from their positions on her flank, gets the resounding, “All clear.”

Ryder slings the shotgun she hadn’t even fired on her shoulder, turning back to face the two of them. “It might not have been made a substantial dent in anything, but we got what we came here for, right?” She flexes her fingers, blue light crackling off of them, and Vetra has to wonder what temperatures are _comfortable_ to humans- her suit had to be outfitted with the same heating system, but she had yet to show any visible signs of acute hypothermia.

Peebee, by comparison, had definitely received the brunt of the harsh weather. “Ye-yeah, listen, I know I sa-said I wanted the rem-tech off of this planet but-” Upon closer inspection, Vetra notices _icicles_ hanging off of her fringe. In the interest of mutual preservation, she moves to break them off, feeling how rigid Peebee’s crest had gotten. “ _Thanks_. But, r-really, this weather? Not for me.”

In a voice that Vetra had heard come out of her own mouth more than once, “I told you to put more clothes on, Peebee. I even offered some of my armor- I know you don’t like visiting Dr. T’Perro, but it’s inevitable, now.” Ryder sighs, but still keeps walking past the platform, off to where she’d parked the Nomad. In a slightly more professional tone, she reports to the Tempest, “Mission success. En route.”

“Hey, Peebee, you can come a little closer to me, if that’d help any. My suit gives off a little heat.” Vetra pulls an arm back, giving an open space for Peebee to duck into, but she just rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her torso.

“Th-this is giving me flashb-backs. Not the good kinds.” She says and, as soon as Ryder signals on her omnitool for the Nomad’s doors to open, she’s in the backseat, tucked as far away from the outside as she can be. “When you two are done s _mothering_ me, you’re welcome to join me away from the blizzard.”

Ryder opens her mouth to retort something, Vetra can practically _see_ it on her tongue, but she withers slightly, turning to Vetra with a shrug. She climbs into the driver’s seat, Vetra rounding the front of the vehicle to get in the back with Peebee, the doors closing, the automatic heating system kicking in. She relaxes into the seats, turning away from the two of them to pick at the soft bit under her mouth plate where some ice had collected, making every word she’d said feel like she was gnashing rocks.

When she turns back to see why they hadn’t started moving, she finds Ryder holding a blanket in her arms, severely hunched in the cramped quarters of the Nomad. “I brought some blankets, just in case.” And she starts to edge closer to the both of them, tense enough that Vetra sees herself in it, trying to approach Sid after a fight. “Here, Peebee.” Ryder unfolds the blanket and, even as Peebee watches her skeptically (but unwilling to move and lose any heat), gently tucks it around her, supporting it by the shoulders. “Is that any better?”

A purple tint rises to her cheeks, avoiding Ryder’s very genuine eye contact. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll...” There’s a pause, and Vetra wonders if she noticed that her cold-induced stutter had went away. With apparent embarrassment, “I’ll wear something with full sleeves and a midriff, next time. You know the saying, ‘fool me once’.” She gives a nervous chuckle, eyes darting to see how it had been received, but Ryder just smiles and nods, then turns to Vetra, who was rapidly defrosting in the corner.

“How’s your heating system holding up?” She asks, then makes a fist and brushes it against her own cheekbone. It takes Vetra a few seconds of parsing out the gesture to realize that she meant that there was still ice attached to her face, and she moves to scrape it off, the sound _that_ makes even more grating than the others. Ryder shakes her head, leaning down to rub her warm thumbs along it, pushing her talons away, the heat transfer enough to melt it, the water dripping down her face. “Listen, I know the both of you are very capable, and that’s why I like to bring you on these missions.” She combs one hand through her hair, right up and until it’s all cinched into a band, then she drops it. “But I’m the Pathfinder, and it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re both alright, whether we’re surveying or fighting kett or gathering up more ‘rem-tech’. I’m not trying to smother you, Peebee- and, Vetra, I hope I’m not overstepping.”

“No, you can step where you like.” She answers, a little flustered at the hand that is still cradling her face, her gaze sharp and checking for any leftover ice. ‘ _I_ _t’s professional_.’ Vetra tells herself, ‘ _The interest is professional, and not personal. Ryder is just being thorough_.’ She’s glad she called a quid pro quo with Peebee- she can only imagine the ribbing she’d get about the ‘double team parenting’.

In fact, she can see her mouth open, just about to say something, when Ryder descends on her next, frowning and thumbing the icicle stubs still left on Peebee’s crest until they warm and melt under her attention. Peebee's mouth opens and closes drily, instead. “Alrighty, then.” The Nomad’s warm enough that the droplets of water don’t reform back into ice and, once Ryder gives the both of them a sweeping look (almost like the one she’d given the terrain when scoping for enemies), she turns back around and shifts the vehicle into drive.

Vetra stays staring at the back of her head the entire ride home, torn somewhere between admiration and surprise at the gentle care in her movements, the kindness in it. If she were being honest, it reminded her a lot of herself- trying to be firm and supportive in the same movement, trying to care for diligently but not hover.

When they’re back in the Tempest, Vetra calling first hot shower and Peebee calling the second, Maryam Ryder just shakes her head and smiles. It must be the older sister in her.

-

She wonders if, maybe, Ryder doesn’t like hearing herself talk. Her conversations are one-sided, heavily on her partner, but her questions are inquisitive, earnest. When she opens her mouth to speak, the room always gets quiet and gets quiet _fast_ \- Ryder was slow to anger, but it had only taken a handful of passing comments from Cora about ‘finding better leadership’ for there to be a severe dressing-down in the front of the crew about attempts to undermine authority.

If she could remember correctly, Ryder had told Cora that if she was looking for ‘better leadership’, she’d be more than welcome to go back to the Nexus and sit around waiting for it to arrive. Until then, she was doing her utmost with the little resources she had, and that, if Cora didn’t think she was capable by now, she was welcome to handle the angara relation conferences by herself.

There was the quiet. There was the begrudging sounds of respect. There was Drack saying, “Damn, kid.” and Cora’s curt, surprised nod, her attempt at showing that no, she wasn’t undermining the chain of command. That, maybe, that was a test in and of itself.

Ryder was capable. Vetra hadn’t known her father personally but, from the stories she’d heard, she might even be a more capable Pathfinder. Spirits knew they didn’t need a guy infamous for his ‘the real work is just beginning’ policy every time a bigger problem presented itself, leaving behind a trail of half-finished projects. Not to speak ill of the dead, but there was a strange air around those that had known him personally- always watching his daughter for glimpses of him, always coming up disappointed. Perhaps that was why Ryder liked talking to her so much- you couldn’t get lower expectations at a discount. Give her a Pathfinder and she’d show you provisions- other than that? Vetra hadn’t had any illusions about the Pathfinder’s personality.

“How is Sid doing?” She’s leaning against the wall, watching Vetra without looking over her shoulder. She can appreciate the fact that there’s no invasion of her privacy, no demands to know what she knew. Just questions about her family and the weight of her in her visor's peripheral view.

“She’s doing fine.” Vetra finishes penning an email about preserved dextro-food. She’d kill for anything other than the paste they’d synthesized after angaran contact- the lack of flavor had her crushing dextro Blast-O’s into it trying to keep it from sticking to the roof of her mouth with how little she wanted to eat it. “She’s enjoying her comms job on the Nexus- it’s long hours, but she likes helping out. Always was a nosy kid.”

“I’m glad.” Ryder says, and she _does_ sound like she’s glad. She’s quiet for a long time, to the point where Vetra looks up from her omnitool to check if she’s still there. She seems deep in thought, to the point where _Vetra_ almost wants to leave the room to give her solitude, but she opens her mouth and, slowly, “Do you have anyone else with you? Other than Sid?”

“No- just me and Sid. It’s always been just the two of us.” It’s a fact, not particularly an emotional one. They were drifting in the vastness of space, the tile was gray, and Vetra had only ever had Sid by her side.

Ryder nods, as if she understood the sentiment, but continues after biting her lip, looking into Vetra’s eyes, “No, I meant ‘anyone’ in a romantic sense. Are you with anyone?” The questions stuns Vetra momentarily, before a whirlwind of thoughts justify her response: she’s her superior officer, she wants to make sure her mind is on the mission, she’s an ally and a friend and wants to know more about her. She’d read human women were like this- sometimes sending signals that they were interested romantically, when they were intending to be friendly.

But Vetra can’t keep it out of her voice, “Oh! Oh, you meant...” She lets out a small, nervous laugh and she’s not sure if it’s because there’s a part of her that’s _really_ hoping she’s asking as a proposition or because no one’s really noticed her enough to ever _assume_ that she’s with someone. “No, nothing like that. Who has the time?” She tries to wait a reasonable amount of time, but the curiosity eats at her. She thinks of her and Liam, close on his couch and discussing something with far too many human words that didn’t filter. Her and Cora, their soft arguments that end with both of them agreeing to disagree, both of them rehashing old discussions with new evidence as to why or why not roses would be an invasive species in Heleus. Her and Suvi, speaking in a non-Standard human language, with Suvi giggling every now and then and correcting her phrasing. “What about you? Anyone special?”

Ryder closes her eyes for a second, tilting her head back and forth, considering. When she opens her eyes, Vetra’s eyes are drawn to the dark circles underneath them. Signals that a human needed more sleep. “So far, it’s been a lonely trip. I agree with you, I don’t have the time to be with anyone, but...” Ryder looks up at her, half a smile on her face, eyes crinkled. “It’s a nice thought, isn’t it? One big adventure, crossing the stars with someone by your side. Nothing familiar around you but one another.”

Vetra can’t help it- she gets a little lost in her words, too, coming out just as starry-eyed as the human in front of her. “A romantic? I wasn’t expecting that.” And, just like that, Ryder starts to shut down- Vetra had never understood how a face could be ‘open’ until just then, when her face so rapidly closes off. She rambles on, as if she could make up for it, trying to show that it wasn’t an insult, “Then again, the entire idea of leaving everything behind for a chance at something new is... kind of... romantic.” ‘ _I’m not one to judge_.’ She wants to say. ‘ _I’m safe to talk to, and I’m glad I wasn’t the only one affected by the Citadel’s romance channel leaving me wanting for someone to hold my hand and look out to the stars._ ’

She doesn’t say any of that. Instead, Ryder just looks at her with that same sparkle in her eye, her smile so small it’s almost imperceptible. “Um, anyway.” Her subharmonics pitch high in embarrassment, and she looks away from her. Instead of continuing the conversation, though, Ryder just pats her shoulder (having to reach up slightly- she was remarkably tall for a human, but not as tall as Vetra).

“You’re probably busy- I’m sorry to interrupt. Talk later?”

 _Of course_. “Whenever you’d like. You know where to find me.” And, even though she has absolutely no other work to do, she pulls up her omnitool to appear as busy as Ryder thought she was.

-

Those little moments weigh heavily on Vetra’s mind when, in the middle of late night call with Sid, Sid puts on her ‘don’t be mad at me’ voice and asks for a favor. Asks to talk to her and the Pathfinder at the same time, has some sort of News (capitalized because she’d put air-quotes around it like a human) that she needed the both of them to hear. Vetra just hoped she wasn’t going to play ‘well-intentioned younger sister’ and spill her dark secrets to the one person she wanted to impress.

Well, ‘impress’ wasn’t quite the word. She made sure her fringe was filed short, her talons buffed down to evolutionary redundancy and as dull as she could make them. She’d been eyeing the talon dye that Sid had brought with her but insisted Vetra hold onto, but also knew that purple talons weren’t exactly the way to intimidating anyone. To be blunt, she wanted the Pathfinder to look at her, which meant looking at least somewhat decent, if not fashionable.

“Vetra, you needed me?” Ryder’s head peeks through the door, eyes sweeping the room. When they land on her, her shoulders drop, somewhat more relaxed.

“Sid has news, wanted to chat with the both of us. She’s on an encrypted line.” She makes quick work of connecting the line, trying not to roll her eyes when Sid acts as if she’d been holding her breath the whole time.

“Finally! Really, Vetra, I thought you’d leave me on hold for another six-hundred years!” Sid’s joking around, but she’s have to talk to her about respecting authority- she’s glad that Ryder just chuckles about it, instead of reprimanding her sister for her lack of formality. If that was one thing Palaven would’ve been good for, it’d would’ve been teaching Sid etiquette not found in a Cosmospolitan magazine.

“So, you wanna tell us what this is all about?” Sue her for a little bit of agitation creeping into her voice. Ryder might not have cared about formality, but she was a little offended on her part- this _was_ her job, and how Sid acted reflected on her.

Sid is quick to respond, though, “I was listening to outpost updates and caught a message about settlers going missing.”

The humor leaves Ryder’s face immediately. Whatever she’d been expecting from the call, it certainly hadn’t been another mission, and she immediately switches over into her Pathfinder persona. “Can you give me numbers and last known locations? Are there any leads as to why they’re no longer where they were stationed?”

“I don’t have last known locations- it obviously wasn’t voluntary. I dug around and I think I know where they’ve been _taken_ , though.” Ryder’s eyes dart away from the omnitool, and Vetra has to wonder what she’s thinking. “There’s a cave on a moon in the Remav system- originally an angaran mine, I think, but it’s abandoned.”

Overhead, SAM corrects her, “I don’t believe the planet you’re referring to is a moon.” Ryder shakes her head, dismissing the correction, but Vetra can hear Sid’s eyes roll.

“Whatever.”

Ryder turns to face Vetra, then, her lips pressed into a firm line, one eyebrow raised- ‘did you know about this?’. She can’t help the rubber band snap of protectiveness in her, the sinking feeling in her gut that her sister might’ve stepped in something too deep. “What did I tell you about getting involved?” It’s the strongest voice she can muster, no wavering or stuttering in disbelief. Her smuggler’s voice.

But Sid’s about as thick-plated as she is. No backing down at all. “I couldn’t just do nothing!” Which means Vetra is going to have to seriously consider this, view Sid as a professional and not as her sibling. Really, the only thing she wanted to consider was how grounded Sid would be once this was all over.

And, as a professional? “How do we know your intel’s even reliable? They could be off on an expedition- them not being on-duty doesn’t mean they’ve been kidnapped.” Agitation is creeping high into her voice- she doesn’t like mixing her personal and her professional life. She’d been able to keep Sid out of it long enough that she’d forgotten how _nosy_ Sid could get in her business, specifically. And that she’d raised her to be just as headstrong as she was.

Which was why Vetra’s eyes wanted to roll back and never return when her comeback was, “It’s reliable!”

She turns to face Ryder, fully ready to accept something along ‘this was a waste of time’ or ‘keep your kid sister in line’, but she’s just... considering. Her words are slow, considered, and the look she’s giving the omnitool makes Vetra wish she’d turned on the video call, so that Sid could see how serious she was taking this. “I trust her. If there’s any chance that there are settlers missing, we shouldn’t waste time.”

The blind faith surprises her (the professional she knew Ryder was would demand more intel, start picking out other potential reasonings behind the disappearances), but Sid sounds over the moon. “ _See_ ? Now _that’s_ a Pathfinder.” The compliment doesn’t even get Ryder to smile, and she has to wonder how serious she was taking this.

Vetra sighs, resisting the urge to click in disapproval. “Sid, just give us everything you have on this.” Her omnitool pings with a received file.

“Already done.” There’s a pause and then, more unsure, “Could I come along? I wanna help.”

It’s not the first time she’s asked something like this, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. The lines between her professional life and her personal life were blurry now that they were part of the Initiative, but that one thing remained the same. She sighs, “You already know the answer to that.” And Ryder shakes her head again, but this time she can’t figure out why.

Sid’s answer is immediate and sarcastic enough that Vetra can feel her blood pressure raise. “ _Sure_. Right. Of course. Stay away from bad people, guns, bombs, Krogan beer.” The way she phrases it makes it all sound like some unreasonable request, like these were just day-to-day things. Ryder stares at her, one eyebrow raised again- she wonders if she was too harsh on her. Really, she should be thankful she brought it all to her instead of trying to play hero.

“You did good.” Vetra finishes, lamely, and feeling even lamer under Ryder’s gaze. She’s scrutinizing her, most likely because she can’t see Sid and needs her body language to figure out their dynamic. She’d probably never met Sid- didn’t know how rambunctious she could get. This wasn’t like taking care of her mild mannered younger brother- Sid liked to meddle and she didn’t like taking no for an answer. “I just... want you to be safe, okay?”

Sid obviously doesn’t think it’s genuine. “Yeah, yeah.” She’s about to wave her hand over the controls, end the call, but Ryder’s hand stops her wrist, her head tilted.

“Mind if I speak...?” Vetra nods, if not somewhat skeptically, and she gets closer to the omnitool. “I’m really proud of you for coming to Vetra and me for this- not everyone would care or even notice that settlers were going missing. I’m glad that you decided to come to people who could _handle_ this right away.” It’s something that she says very deliberately and very seriously but, for the stars in the sky, Vetra can’t figure out why. All it does is make her feel plateless about how nice she’s being to her younger sister and a little jealous that she wasn’t that good with words.

Her younger sister is equally taken aback, apparently, because the line is quiet for a while. “I... oh, well, um, thank you? I mean, you were the first people that came to mind because, you know, Vetra’s my _sister_ and you’re the _Pathfinder_ and you, uh, like to help people?” She finishes off, sounding very similar to how Vetra had just moments before, unsure but genuine.

“You’re welcome- I hope the Nexus is treating you well?” Her professional life is merging with her personal life right before her eyes, as Ryder commandeers the conversation to check in on her younger sister. “I don’t know how turian spinal damage works, precisely, but I hope your superior took my suggestion on giving you all chairs to heart.”

“Oh, that! You were the one to get us chairs? _Spirits_ , I thought my aching feet were never going to get a rest!” Sid’s tone is suddenly jovial, and Vetra’s more stunned that Ryder knew about her comms job in so much detail. And that she’d thought to ask about it, where Vetra didn’t.

“I’m glad, I’m glad.” She’s modest about it, but her smile is back again. It’s kind and relieved, and it makes Vetra’s heart do uneven pumps in her chest, blood rising to her neck. “I’ll leave you to it- if I need any further clarification, I’ll be sure to ping you through the Nexus.”

“I... Oh, uh- I think I included everything I knew in the documents, so there’d be no need!” Sid’s voice raises, her subharmonics going incredibly scratchy. It’s a lie, but Vetra can’t find which part she was lying about- had she been fired from her job? Wasn’t sure about the intel? As soon as she gets that out, there’s a fast, “Well, nice talking to you, Pathfinder!” And the line goes dead.

Vetra doesn’t lower her arms for a long minute, staring down at her omnitool. Her brow plates rise and she considers Ryder. “You know my sister?”

“She gave me good intel on the Three Sabers and Addison’s involvement with them- I know I can trust her.” She chuckles, then, and Vetra is _really_ going to have to have a talk about just waltzing up to the Pathfinder and asking her to look into whatever thing she thinks popped up in the comms. “She’s a good kid- smart, loyal, headstrong. I can see the family resemblance.”

The waning flush on her neck comes back full-force, and Vetra pulls her scarf up higher. For some reason, Ryder mimics the action, pulling her’s higher as well. “She can be a pain in the ass, but she’s still my sister.” Ryder smiles, then, a full cheek-to-cheek smile, and it gets one out of her too. “Anyways, I should... go scope out the planet she mentioned. Come and get me when you’re ready to depart.”

Long after Ryder’s left the room, her mandibles are still stuck out, smiling down at her omnitool as she scans the Remav system for the ‘moon’ her sister had described.

-

Vetra had thought she’d exercised a healthy amount of caution when entering the base. It was large, heavily fortified in a way that aligned with the intel saying it was a former mining base- and no hostages. Drack is five paces behind her, covering their back, while she and Ryder form the other two points of the triangular formation- Ryder in the forefront. From all she knows about human social cues, she’s tense- shoulders drawn tight, eyes peering around at her. Her words are quiet but forceful- like she was anticipating someone listening in. “All clear, so far.”

Whatever caution Vetra was exercising, Ryder had had it in doses. All because her kid sister thought it’d be fine to waste the Pathfinder’s time and patience. She can’t keep the annoyance out of her voice, “I swear, if Sid sent us on a pointless search, I’m going to drill her shin plates-”

No sooner had she said that, Ryder hits a trip wire and, in a moment of quick instinct, launches herself forward, sending a blast of biotic force towards her and Drack. “Move!” The force isn’t enough to move the half ton of their combined weight in such a rushed state and, while they do get knocked just one step back, it’s inevitable that they fall in. Vetra’s talons claw around her, trying to get some sort of hold, even though _rationally_ she knows anything around her is thin air, even though she can feel her pulse right below her crest to the point where it feels like her heart might give out. The only source of light is where they’d just fallen through, and she sees Ryder’s feet pedaling as she tries to keep her balance but, inevitably, her five fingers’ grip on the flat surface fails, and she falls down just as assuredly as Vetra and Drack.

All of this perceived in the matter of seconds. Vetra’s full bodyweight lands on Drack, who makes a sound like he may need a prosthetic everything after taking her spiny edges into the unarmored parts of his body. “Sorry- did I hurt you?” She apologizes, but is looking at the Pathfinder, who landed face-first without a helmet or any bony protrusions to keep her in one piece.

“No blood, no foul.” Drack says, and he gets up slowly, as if he were testing his joints. “I’ve had medical tools heavier than you fall on me before.” When he sees Ryder, though, his voice goes soft. “Well, shit.”

Vetra starts to crowd her, feeling one stubborn re-opened crack on her shin plate from tough business last week, which then turns to a slight hobble. “Ryder- Ryder, are you...?” Ryder’s hands twitch once, twice, then she lets out a low, unhappy groan.

“What the hell _was_ that?” She asks, getting up slowly and blinking several times. She gingerly touches her forehead, finding a tender spot and wincing, before surveying the both of them. “Are both of you alright? I tried to put up a biotic field to cushion the fall, but I... just ended up giving myself a terrible headache.” True to her word, a gray spot has started to develop where she’d rubbed, like a rotting fruit- the brunt of the force she’d thrown out. Likely, it would've been worse if she hadn't done anything.

“We’re fine- just a little shaken.” She maneuvers the release on her medigel dispenser in her suit, feeling the instant relief as her shin plate is held in place, the pain dulling. Above them, the door they’d fallen through winds back up and, just as Ryder (likely somewhat concussed) starts to try to launch herself up to hold it open, seals itself up with a hissing release of stale air.

A comms system comes online, the faraway sounds of someone she can’t identify. “Ah, Nyx. So good to finally meet you! And you brought friends!” It’s an immediate conflict of survival instinct- the turian-borne one to huddle and protect, the smuggler-borne one to hide and assess. Her blood feels cold, to the point where, if she closes her eyes, she could pretend she’s on Voeld again. She doesn’t recognize the voice, but they can recognize her? Bad news. Worse news? Sid had caught wind of this.

Ryder’s bristling to the point where she wonders if she recognizes the voice. “That’s even the Pathfinder, if I’m not mistaken.” In her panic to find where the comm is, Vetra shoots her a sharp look of ‘you know what’s going on?’ met with her equally sharp shake of the head. “My bait worked better than expected.”

Their eyes meet again, separate from searching the room and, without translators or Human-To-Turian translation pamphlets, Vetra sees her lips move without sound and _knows_ she’s saying ‘ _Sid_ ’. “The missing settlers?” She asks, instead, voice rising in a question- was _that_ the bait, or was there another game at play?

The resounding low chuckle is enough of an answer.

“Who are you? Why are you kidnapping innocents?” No bullshit- she’s about as fed up with this day as she’s ever been with anything. First, her sister sticking her mandibles where they don’t belong. Now, her sister being _right_ to stick her mandibles where they don’t belong, _and_ she’s endangered the Pathfinder by bringing her along.

The voice scoffs. “‘Innocents’? They’re criminals.” The voice takes a hard edge, and Vetra has to tilt her head back and forth to hear most of the audio. “You helped them get away from me. You think I’m gonna let that go?” She can practically feel Ryder’s gaze burning holes into her. “Get comfortable. You’ll be here a while.”

The comm line goes out, and they’re all just standing there, dumbfounded and confused. “Vetra, did you-”

“I have no idea what’s going on.” She says, fast and clear, but she’s interrupted by a voice. Low, human-

“It’s okay, Vetra. You don’t have to cover for us.” Vetra supposes she should be flattered at how quickly Ryder pulls her gun from her back and takes a stance in front of them, but the man approaching them is unarmed. She puts a hand on her back to convey the lack of threat in the approaching group and, seeing the glance she throws over her shoulder, she lowers her gun. The stutter in their advance is quickly ignored, and there’s... What? Six, seven humans. One barefaced turian. One asari. The head human continues speaking. “That was Meriweather. She runs a smuggling ring on Kadara. We worked for her. Vetra helped us get out of it. New lives, hiding in the outposts.”

Which is something she’s _never_ done and, frankly, it feels like if she were any more disapproving, her mandibles would fuse to her mouth plates.

But Ryder turns to face her, and there’s a look she’s never seen on her before. It’s soft and surprised, her guard down. A small smile starts to pull at her lips, and Vetra’s horrified to find that it’s _pride_ , that Maryam Ryder is proud of her for doing good deeds she’s never done. “Vetra, helping people is not something you need to lie about.” Spirits, it’s even evident in her voice. She feels like scum.

“I _wasn’t being modest_ \- I didn’t help anyone!” She says, forcefully, and, unable to handle Ryder’s kind gaze, decides that her time would be best spent _elsewhere_ trying to find a way to _escape their current hostage situation_ instead of deflecting undeserved praise, like a reasonable person would do. She can hear Ryder sputter slightly, and she’s probably still thinking that she _did_ help these people- her reaction probably hadn’t helped any. “I’m getting out of here!”

And the human just keeps fucking talking. “We’ve tried. There’s no way out.”

Like she hadn’t heard that before. “There’s always a way out.”

-

Five minutes of scanning the room up and down, and she still catches Ryder throwing those proud looks in her direction. She _would_ get angry if she didn’t know that Ryder has put her utmost faith in her, and believed in the best person Vetra could be. She almost wants to tell her of all the times she’s fucked up, the times she’s fought dirty or mashed some bastard’s face plates in or botched an import to route supplies to a more profitable supplier. She wants to tell her that her pride is undeserved, and that all it’s doing is making her feel guilty for not being who she thinks she is.

But she can’t outright say it. She _wants_ Ryder to look at her like she’s something to admire, and all she can do is insist she’s never seen these people a day in her life. “Ryder, you have to believe me. I’ve no idea what’s going on.” But she still looks at her like that didn’t diminish any of the trust she has in her so, in a slightly weaker tone, broken under her sweet brown eyes, “I’m going to get answers, but first we have to get out of here.” She watches Ryder nod, going to talk with the settlers one more time, trying to get every drop of information out of them as she scanned the room and chatted idly about whether or not they’d tried _this_ pressure release or maybe _this_ giant mechanism thrown biotically into the skyward hatch.

Vetra knows it’s not optimism that’s pushing Ryder forward, and that somehow makes her feel worse. It’s pragmatism, and it seems to be wearing her down- she’s scanning and talking and obviously trying to bolster morale, but she looks exhausted. She pinches the bridge of her nose a few times and, once, she turns away from all of them and lurches slightly- dry heaving. If image wasn’t so important in this moment, if they didn’t have to pretend like they were there to save the day, she’d be at her side in a heartbeat, trying to decipher what in her alien biology was causing this and draining her medigel reserves on someone a hell of a lot more important than one miserable turian smuggler.

Drack keeps to himself, for the most part- he seems to have no interest in whatever mindgame is being played here. Smart. She wouldn’t want to either, if she didn’t have to.

Eventually Ryder makes her way back over to her. She looks like she’s going to ask her something but, instead, she twists her side, bearing it towards Vetra. “I have a mild concussion.” She says, with certainty. “And I can’t get my nails into the emergency aid panel on my suit. Would you mind...?”

Shit. She’d filed her talons down out of the juvenile idea that they might accidentally hurt Ryder and, here she was, needing them. “I... Can try?” She offers, trying to fit her buffed talon into the space and, with a little maneuvering and a second where she thinks that she might have to use the band of her visor to get into the release panel, it comes free. It’s different than her’s- the door of the panel is filled with small, multicolor circular pills, with the part towards her torso being the medigel release mechanism. Instead of prompting the mechanism, Ryder pulls a pill free and downs it quickly.

“Thank you- I wouldn’t be of much use with a head injury, now, would I?” She says, and she says it like a joke, but the phrase ‘head injury’ is about enough to make Vetra’s nerves amp up into the Panic Zone. In fact, her hands are already half-lifted to Ryder’s face before she can notice, a soft croon of comfort out of her mouth as she tries to inspect her. She tamps it down as soon as she recognizes it, a little embarrassed that the noise even left her mouth, but her hands are stuck where they are and, with nothing else to do with them, she moves the hair over her forehead for a better look.

The kindest way she can put it? She really hopes whatever Ryder took sped up healing head trauma, because a painkiller would be like putting a thin bandage on an oozing wound. The crooning sound rumbles back up again, and this time _Ryder_ flushes, eyes darting over to the colonists. “ _Vetra_.” She says her name like it’s the most important thing in the world. “Vetra, we have to talk about this.”

“Of course we do, you look like you were knocked upside the head by an elcor!” She can't keep the panic out of her voice, her voice pitching high. Her talons glide over the skin, careful to keep from applying too much pressure, just trying to figure out what makes it all so painful-looking.

“Vetra, no- we need to talk about Meriweather.” And, suddenly, she’s brought crashing down to the reality of their situation again. Hostage situation. Undeserved praise and Drack sitting in the corner shittalking a handful of humans. “They all think you saved them, but... That’s not the case?” The slight disappointment in her voice breaks Vetra’s heart.

“I’ve never seen these people in my life, Ryder- if someone did save them, it was under my name, not under _me_.” She pulls her hands away from her face, feeling unclean and unworthy to dote on her. She wishes she were a better person, watching as Ryder takes a breath, reassesses the situation. Figures out what has to happen.

“Okay.” She says, and the way she says it makes Vetra believe everything _is_ okay. “Okay, if you don’t know the people- then do you know Meriweather? At all- anything you thought might’ve been nothing, but still involved her?”

Vetra has to wrack her brains over every single twenty-seven hour day-cycle she’s experienced since waking up in Heleus. She’d never worked with Meriweather- heard she dealt shitty hands, little profit and no real advantage to business with her. She wishes there was a clean answer to this- that she could pinpoint one time that she’d stolen goods clearly marked for the person now holding them hostage, but there isn’t. She relays as much back to Ryder, “I’ve _heard_ of her. Smuggler, not affiliated with the Outcasts or the Collective. Never did business with her.” Trying to be subtle, she pitches her subharmonics low, “Kind of a loose cannon, from what I heard.”

Ryder nods, but she seems to be looking through her for a moment. She clears her throat, and her focus returns. “Good information to have- you might’ve messed with a shipment of her’s, got on her bad side without knowing.” The words are carefully selected, and Vetra can’t tell whether it’s due to the concussion or her thinking something through. “I figure this is essentially a revenge hit on you, and I’m the leftover ransom. Do you think there’s anything else?”

She talks so drily that it gets a small chuckle out of Vetra- it didn’t sound like she intended on any of that coming to fruition, even though their situation was looking fairly grim. “The people she thinks I helped are likely going to be used as bait. I don’t think it’ll be a simple hit- there’ll likely be a... thorough interrogation.” This really wasn’t a headspace she wanted to dwell in for too long- she hadn’t clawed her way into this life to be taken out by some newbie smuggler with an inferiority complex. She hadn’t suffered all of those years to give Sid a comfortable life, hiding this ugly part of her, just to die in some tin box on a moon she didn’t even know the name of.

Spirits. _Sid._

“Hey, stop that.” Ryder’s voice cuts through the rapid fire thoughts of ‘who’s going to tell her, who’s going to make sure she’s safe, what’ll happen to her if anyone finds out we’re related’. She jerks her head down to meet her eyes, brown and sincere and steady. “Focus on getting out- even if worst comes to worst, you two will get out of here.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Focus on the task at hand. Don’t let her thoughts wander. She goes back to scanning the walls, digging her claws into the seams of the wall. Trying to find some hidden passage, some hidden door. She hears Ryder wander back over to the colonists, asking questions about Meriweather, about how Vetra helped them out of the outposts in some giant crazy plan. She never did that. _Why_ would she do that?

It’s only when Ryder breaks to continue scanning the base that she realizes what she had meant- getting the two of them out at any cost. Not a reassurance that they were capable as a team, but that Ryder was willing to do whatever it took to get her team out in one piece.

But she wasn’t making any promises about herself.

**Author's Note:**

> * Suvi and Maryam banter in Arabic! Anwar is an Arab last name, so I write Suvi as Saudi (which is why she's correctly Maryam's darija lmao)  
> * The space version of 'cosmopolitan' is 'cosmospolitan'!  
> * This takes place before my fic 'In the Dim Light', which is why Vetra refers to Maryam by her last name- the story will eventually progress after that moment and reference it- it's rated M, though, so to be concise for those that don't want to read it: Maryam finds Vetra her asari lamp and Vetra realizes she's In Love and starts calling her by her first name.  
> * 'plateless'- naked/ashamed/laid bare


End file.
